If you've ever heard the phrase "It just wasn't meant to happen," you may have taken it as an excuse for bad timing or an inappropriate relationship.
But according to Australian dating expert Louanne Ward, these five seemingly innocent words can reveal more about someone's way of thinking and are a clear sign that the relationship was never meant to be sustainable.
Ward, based in Perth and with over 30 years of experience as a matchmaker, has noticed a recurring pattern in clients staying single longer, dating multiple people and failing to form long-term relationships.
“Clients who stayed single longer, met more people, and struggled to maintain a relationship described their past relationships the same way: ‘It just wasn’t the right person. It wasn’t meant to be.’”
While most use this expression to ease heartache, Ward warns that when it becomes a recurring narrative, it points to something deeper than misfortune.
"When someone attributes every failed relationship to fate, it's no longer about timing, luck, or bad choices, but about a belief system," Ward explains.
This attitude is known as “faith in fate” – the belief that love should be easy, the right partner will understand you intuitively, chemistry should be instant, and conflict indicates incompatibility.
Ward warns that this romantic ideal can undermine even promising relationships: those who strongly believe in this concept usually begin relationships feeling pleasure, but quickly lose content when they encounter challenges, interpreting every problem as evidence that they have chosen the wrong person.
In contrast, Ward recommends “growing faith,” where enduring love is cultivated:
"A partner is not simply found, but built through shared experiences, difficult conversations, repairing after conflicts, and choosing each other again and again."
In this way, pleasure deepens not because of luck, but because both partners invest, adapt, and grow together.
Ward emphasizes that there's nothing wrong with believing in soulmates, but the problem arises when one expects love to always be easy:
“Anyone who walks away every time love requires effort will never see you as 'the one'. Not because you're not enough, but because no one will be enough for someone who believes love shouldn't require work.”
Also, Ward explains that women's brains work quickly to read small signals when they meet a potential partner, deciding within 7-12 seconds to judge things like: leadership, security, trust, and emotional stability.
These four traits are closely linked to evolutionary biology and long-term fitness, indicating that romantic decisions are often made by the brain before speaking or acting. /GazetaExpress/
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