Whether or not you get what you want, there will be more that you will get by trying. Know that every fear, every time you face it, the easier it will be to overcome it next time. You will be braver, more resilient, smarter, and more ready for next time – and there will always be another time. And there will always be losses and victories at the same time.
Brikena Krasniqi Hoti
The fear of rejection is one of our deepest human fears. We are biologically wired to connect and get close, to want to belong to someone or something. We want to be accepted and desired. It hurts to be rejected and to experience people walking away from you, or to be denied their attention, care, or love. We worry about the possibility of loss, humiliation, isolation, or abandonment that rejection might bring. We fear being alone.
Rejection hurts. Sometimes it's excruciating. There's no way out. Sometimes in life, we take risks that don't pay off. We set our goals, we try hard, we invest a lot in a relationship, but we fail. We go after a job and get rejected.
We may fear that rejection will confirm our worst fears – perhaps that we are unlovable, or that we are destined to be alone, or that we have little or no worth. When these fear-based thoughts continue to swirl in our minds, we may become anxious, experiencing fear, insecurity, anxiety, or even depression.
A big part of our fear of rejection can be our fear of experiencing hurt and pain. We pull away from people rather than risk getting close. We hold back from expressing our authentic feelings. We abandon others before they have a chance to reject us.
But since this is inevitable, we must allow ourselves to feel sadness, loss, fear, loneliness, anger, or whatever feelings arise when we are rejected in one way or another.
Just as we grieve, grieve, and gradually heal when someone close to us dies (often with the support of friends), we can heal when we face rejection. We can also learn from our experience, which allows us to move forward in a more empowered way.
No matter how hard we crash into the ground, we always manage to get up, dust ourselves off, and keep moving forward.
Whether or not you get what you want, there will be more that you will get by trying. Know that every fear, every time you face it, the easier it will be to overcome it next time. You will be braver, more resilient, smarter, and more ready for next time – and there will always be another time. And there will always be losses and victories at the same time.
/Express newspaper
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