Four signs that someone is trying to "steal" your partner - Gazeta Express
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Fun

Express newspaper

30/09/2025 21:14

Four signs that someone is trying to "steal" your partner

Fun

Express newspaper

30/09/2025 21:14

Scientists have discovered why people are more attracted to those who are already in relationships and feel the desire to "steal" someone else's partner.

According to psychologists, this is a phenomenon called "mate choice copying" and has developed throughout human evolution, meaning that people do not randomly choose to break up happy relationships.

Many studies have observed that humans and animals, such as fish, birds, and primates, appear more attractive when they have already been chosen by a partner.

Women are more likely to feel this effect due to the evolutionary pressure of choosing a partner and the desire to have children.

A partner already chosen by another woman was seen as a safer choice, indicating certain qualities such as reliability or the ability to provide resources.

Relationship psychologist Limor Gottlieb added:

"The quickest shortcut for women to assess a man's worth is to see him in the company of other attractive women."

Psychologist Eloise Skinner noted that men evolved to look for more physical signs of fertility, becoming less dependent on the same social cues that women use.

However, experts warn that acting on this attraction, known as "mate poaching," can lead to complicated relationships, as people often place more importance on appearance than actual compatibility.

Gottlieb explained to Metro that this behavior typically appears in people with high traits of narcissism and extraversion, meaning they are sociable, assertive, and seek excitement.

People who engage in "mate poaching" are also more likely to favor short-term relationships and be untrustworthy.

“When options are limited or potential benefits outweigh risks, some individuals pursue committed partners as a way to maximize reproductive opportunities,” Gottlieb said.

Experts pointed out that one in five new relationships begins with someone intervening and "stealing" someone else's partner.

While some studies have focused on the evolution that drives this behavior, psychologist Shahida Arabi explained that those who "steal partners" are rarely motivated by love or the desire for children.

They are driven by jealousy, competition, and the need to be the winner in a romantic triangle, which gives them an ego boost.

Arabi, author of the book Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare, added that "partner thieves" not only show signs of narcissism, but also have a manipulative approach to relationships, known as Machiavellianism, and exhibit psychopathic behavior.

All of these warning signs form what psychologists call the "Dark Triad" of human personality.

Some singles who exhibit the Dark Triad may only be looking for a quick hookup with someone else's partner, while other studies show that others may have been planning their actions for years.

In March, researchers from Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz in Germany found that some people in relationships knew they were heading towards a breakup more than two years before they ended the relationship.

They identified two specific stages of a relationship in crisis: gradual increase in dissatisfaction and the "tipping point," where nothing can prevent the breakup.

In addition to the ethical questions that arise from trying to ruin someone else's marriage or long-term relationship, Gottlieb warned that there's no guarantee that the committed person who wants to pull away from you is truly right for you.

“Someone may seem desirable in public but not be a healthy long-term partner in private,” Gottlieb warned.

"Lasting relationships require compatibility, shared values, and commitment. Copying a partner's choice may open the door, but it cannot sustain a relationship," the psychologist added.

Experts also warned that once a couple is formed in this way, there is a risk that one of the two partners will repeat the phenomenon of copying the partner's choice in the future. /GazetaExpress/

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